worked out

 By making the choice to lose weight, I realize I have to exercise. So because I normally walk alot in one day, I realize I have to add things to get me moving. I take additional walk in the evening. So now I have added a work out tape in the morning. To see if I can really do this. You read every where how working out gives you more energy, I am putting it to test. I dislike very much exercising. So this the second day for it. But I never realized how big I am. I am sweating and its hard to catch my breath!! That is what its suppose to do. At this very moment I am very envious of Tina and her love for working out.    Where much is asked much is expected!!!

One of my motivations is the fact, I know it sounds horrible. In my job I help give baths at the heart center and we have to move flab around and make sure that underneath is clean, well often times people does clean under it and it is broken out or the skin is broken. It stinks and they are embarrassed. I do not ever want that. Because I do have big breast I know the feeling of having to pick two tons up and making sure the skin is taking care.
Another motivation for me is that I am thinking of breast reduction. I want to be at healthy weight for that.

Change your Questions Change your life!!!

I am reading this book so I have decided to use it and apply it to my life. So often I am guilty about wanting to change things but I never do. I am probably just like most of my friends I know. So I have am trying to change the very things I want in my life. You know I have been working on my weight. To lose on weigh in I reached my 5%. I am excited. So my question to this and it works for me! It may not work for you?
What am I willing to sacrifice for the lost?  I am willing to sacrifice my hatred of working out and just do it so I know it works.

Why is that I want to lose? Well as all you know I want to get married, so I decided that one of those goals is to look great in the wedding dress on 11-11-11. I need the husband, still! But that is for another posting.
What am I willing to sacrifice?

The truth

I went to Time Out in Nashville and had a wonderful time. Sitting there I found myself thinking about if you put all women in a circle that they would all say that they suffer from the same insecurities as the other women. I know there is time when I feel like I don't accomplish anything in day. I sometimes feel as if I never meet expectations of other women in the other ward or other people i work with. I wonder what would happen if when someone ask you how you are? and you told the truth about it how they would receive that. I wonder if you could accept that someone is just having a day that sucks or a day that you could climb the mountain all by your self. I wonder?

11.2

I joined weight watchers two weeks ago. Before hand I really thought long and hard about it. What am I willing to sacrifice for my health. I have been really good about sticking to the plan and thinking it out. I am so thankful for Aaron and all his help with the plan. He will help me count points and know that I am doing well. So he is my cheerleader. I have been making a effort to exercise more so I am trying. I lost 11.2 lbs. in two weeks. But sunday sucked for me I wanted everything I ate three pieces of pizza. I wanted to eat. But toward the evening I caught myself and I got back on track on Monday so I am proud of myself

Families

 Church was wonderful today. We had a very spiritual sacrament meeting, it was testimony meeting. Then we had Sunday school and we talked about the treasures of the heart. What makes them of the heart compared to the world treasures. One of the questions they asked is how do we turn away from the world. Everyone answered how easy it is to find the worldly stuff but I think how hard it is to live in the world. I have lived there and its hard. When you know that the answers to right and wrong its easier to live the right. Mainly if you are living in the wrong its harder to stay up with everything. Because if you are living in the world then more than likely you are doing worldly activities which leads you down many different paths.
Then in Relief Society we talked about how to strength the family. What constitute a family? Well it was decided that anyone can and is a family. Which something I so know to be true. I loved our lessons today and I know that I am a child of a God who loves me and knows me personally.

Jealous???

I am jealous!! No its not a man or even what a friend has!! It not material things or its not a life style that someone else has. But I am jealous and I hide it with anger. Are you ready for this??

When i first got clean my mom said to me that she was so mad at me because she thought we were friends. I had hurt her as a mother but as a friend also. So she was just mad and when I say mad I mean mad. But over the last 5 years we have become really good friends. In reality she is the one that I like to do things with. Even though we are very different we are very much the same. So guess what now that she is so amazingly busy I miss her. I am not good at hiding it. It seems like every time I call she is busy doing something. In my head I know its really important but sometimes it feels like when you are five and your best friend tells you that she found someone else to be her best friend. So yes I feel like being five today and for quite few weeks now.