Never Never Never

Never in a million years could image how this feels: This little boy who is amazing my heart swells for him. I loved being a mother but being a grandmother is amazing!!

Gage at the hospital

Kim invited me up to hospital on December 27, 2011 I arrived about 11 am. I was able to go to delivery room. She was already there with Kevin and her mother, Ann. She was a trooper and she was so brave.

Around 430 the doctor came and thought Kim was ready to push so I
went to the waiting room with the whole family

Then after about a hour and half of pushing at 6:33 pm Gage Alexander Anema son of Kimberly Ann Dean and Kevin Benjamin Anema entered this world. 9 lbs. 14 oz and 22 inches long.

my year last year!!

After Florida, I had decided there that I really wanted to get married and decided that i would date other people since the person that I loved did not have the same desires as me. When I got back I went over to tell Kevin what I had decided...and he surprised me with "will you marry me?" So needless to say I had told no one we were serious and it surprised everyone when I told I was getting married.

July 1, 2011 on a friday night by Bishop Walter Harper we were married. It has been really good the last 6 months. I think I had more adjusting then he did. I love the every dayness of it. I love knowing he is here and he is around for good.

August 16, Breast reduction. I had 15 lbs taken off and its been amazing. Kevin was wonderful about helping. The surgery took about 5 hours and I am so thankful for my mom who was at the hospital the whole time. after waking up immediately my neck felt better. But recovery was the most painful thing I had ever done.

December 27, 2011 my grand son, Gage was born. Never in a million years did i ever think I would or could be so crazy about one little boy. He is amazing and what a blessing to our family.

change

  I find that the more unsettled I am with decisions the harder it is for me to feel peace. I am working on applications for graduate school and  I find that I feel like that little girl who could not find peace. I want to hide and not come out from under my blankets. Sometimes???? I do not like change in my life, I like knowing that my schedule is the same today tomorrow and next. I hate weekend schedule but I love the nurses I work with. I love the extra money it puts on my check. Sometimes it feels as if the whole world is on my shoulders and I am suppose to be ok. I even know tomorrow it will be better.

I am working on a resume for graduate school and I have asked Tina to look at it a million times. I know she is busy. She often ask me why I don't work off the old one but I never feel as if I have experience to have a resume. Its one of those old feelings that creep into my head and it makes me feel very inadequate.  I know, I know, its just a resume. But I feel as if gee I have waitress experience, cook experience, and volunteer experience but nothing that is for real. Then I always feel as if there is scarlet letter on my resume. When they run the background check I will have to explain my past one more time and then they will chose a applicant who does not have a past. I feel really down! I just wish someone had a opinion about this thing called life for me. Is graduate school right? Do i need to leave Indiana to get rid of my past? What does my kids think? What does my parents think? What does my husband think? Would he do this again? I have prayed and prayed about school graduate school, what am I over looking? What am i not hearing? Am I hearing and not listening (in reality this is probably the correct one)? I need the temple I do believe!!
  

New Year today!

Usually on this day every year, I think I am glad this year is over. Not this year, its been a year of change but a good year. Then changes have been interesting and learning experience. I finished another year of school and will graduate. Jason my oldest son graduated from Cornell with PhD in math and our whole family went on vacation together. It was amazing and fun to get to see Jason in his dominate. So extremely proud of him. This is beginning of May.

Then in the middle of May I take my dear sweet friend Shirley on vacation to Disney and we had a blast together. We flew out on a Tuesday and came home on a Sunday. Shirley was like watching a five year at disney. The things I thought she would love is not the things she liked. She really liked the princesses and relaxing in the hotel room. We stayed in a nice little hotel on the main strip of Disney.  While we were there we visited the Orlando Temple and we also spend a day on the beach in florida. We had a lot of fun and we were did not want to leave but on the other hand glad to get home.

more to come.







































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