Here I am again!!

  I know when ever I need to check in I find attend a 12 step group and this is what happened this week. I decided to go the recovery group here in Lexington and I found the greatest spirit. It was Bro. Kelly and I at the meeting. I love the spirit that dwells in these meetings. Well amazing you will never believe what step we were on Step 10 which is part of the maintainance steps.

Step 10
Continue to take personal inventory and when you are wrong promptly admit it.

I love this step it so often reminds me that we each need to do this. In the manual it talks about ask yourself these questions
Are you doing too much or too little?
Are you taking care of your basic spiritual emotional and physical needs?
Do you serve others?

But the most important question in this step is ARE YOU TRUE?

 It also points out saying "I am wrong" is as important as I love you in any relationship.

Then coming home Kevin found a letter from Aaron and I had never read it or even ever saw it. It told me about Eric and how he would beat them. So Aaron being the person he is would take the beatings for the others. I had no idea and he then ask me did I care or was I too F******* high to notice. I cried......I had no idea. I am so grateful that i went to this meeting tonight and I sat down and wrote him a letter and told him how sorry I was and no I did not know that. and yes I was to high all the time. How much I love him and realize that he does not have to let me in his life. I love the boys so much and it is not like me. I was a horrible person back then. I am so sorry Aaron that I was not there to protect you and your brothers. I am sorry that I was not a mother. I am sorry that I was to high to know you were getting beat. I am sorry I did not notice your bruises. I am sorry. I love you!!
Mom