Ever notice??

Ever notice when you lacking in something its easier to pointed it out in others? Right now I think my husband thinks I regret marrying him. Which is not the case, I love that man and he makes me happy. I love that the fact that we are so different in how we handle life. I need him and he needs me to balance each other.

I have found that its easier to point how big people are when I feel like a two ton elephant. I have gained weight since coming back from KY. Where I was working so hard on losing weight. I have really missed KY and what it stood for. All though I realize we moved back for a reason. I miss "us" time we had there. I feel as if everything is fat on me. I feel like my fingers look like the pretzel we sell at the store and it is so frustatting. What am I doing about it?

I have found lately I am really good at looking at people's faults. I think its because I see so many of my faults lately.

I have found that I am easy to point how lazy people are because I am doing what I really want to do. I am working in restaurant that causes me to do things from my past because of the people there.

I have found lately that most of the time I just want to sleep. For me that is great sign of depression. why am i depressed? why do I find fault? Why am I lonely? Why am I sad? Why am I feeling so fat?


DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!

March

  In February I was given the calling of Sunday School teacher for 12-13 year old. I want to share about my class. I have Joey Pitcher and his dad is in the stake presidency. Joey carries a brief case and he is very official. Joey's best friend is Jeremy Read. Jeremy is counselor in the bishopric. Jeremy is the babysitter of the ward, and he is the oldest of 5 siblings. Him and Joey are good friends. Then I have the Clark brothers. Nick Clark is wonderful, and he wants to feel the spirit. Aaron is fighting to be in "normal" world. He is getting where he will participate in class a small amount each week in class. Aaron is Nick's brother. Aaron is determined and knows what he wants and when he wants to participate. Bryen is Nick's and Aaron's brothers. Bryen was our first class president and he did a great job and really liked being given an assignment. Bryen has some health problems. These three boys are amazing and I love this class. So now for my girls. Madi Zingler, is beautiful and she is my quiet one, she wants to have the spirit in class. She can give a prayer that is out of this world.  Clara is great, She knows the scriptures and has been a huge help in my class. I am not that good at knowledge of the scriptures but I am learning. Then I have Anya, she is blonde and beautiful. Her mother is from Russia and she has lived in Russia. This past Sunday she taught us how to say Jesus Christ and it was amazing. She also said the prayer in russian and it was beautiful. I know I pray for this class and I have learned so much from them and look forward to learning more from them.

Restaurants and more

  I understand that restaurants are and can be a interesting place to work. I always feel as if I lose the spirit when I enter Applebees. I always listen to Hilary Weeks as I am driving to work and in my mind I am singing church songs. But I understand why its so hard, I feel my spirit fighting not to fall into negative thinking or negative acting. It is hard. I have decided to read my scriptures and to pray because I believe Satan knows my weaknesses. So I am praying and praying and praying........

Moses 6:63

 And behold, all things have their ^alikeness, and all things are created and made to ^bbear record of me, both things which are temporal, and things which are spiritual; things which are in the heavens above, and things which are on the earth, and things which are in the earth, and things which are under the earth, both above and beneath: all things bear record of me.


make a list of things “in the heavens,” “on the earth,” and “in the earth” that bear record of Jesus Christ. Help them use the Topical Guide to find scriptures in which Jesus Christ is compared to some of these things

What I am learning

Abraham is commanded to sacrifice Isaac. Isaac and Abraham both yield to the will of God.  I thought it was really interesting that it said the Lord tempted Abraham, what does Abraham say sure I am here.
 tempted means tried, tested, prove. So in reality God is saying  to Abraham prove to me that you love me and are you willing to do anything???? He did not ask any questions as to why god wanted him to do this. He just did it with faith.
I think its a amazing that Abraham just went and followed the directions that he thought he was suppose to do. Three days later on the donkey, makes me wonder how many miles from home was he. From Beer-sheba to Moriah is about 50-60 miles in 3 days. That is over 18 miles a day.

Now it came to pass after these things that God tested Abraham, and said to him, “Abraham!” And he said, “Here I am.” Then He said, “Take now your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.”

a. God tested Abraham: This was not so much a test to produce faith, as it was a test to reveal faith. God built Abraham slowly, piece by piece, year by year, into a man of faith.

b. Take now your son, your only son Isaac: Significantly, God calls Isaac your only son Isaac, when in fact Abraham had another son, Ishmael. But since Ishmael was put away from Abraham’s family, then as far as God was concerned, Abraham had only one son.

c. Offer him there as a burnt offering: God tells Abraham to offer him as a burnt offering. This was not an offering that was burned alive, but one first sacrificed and then completely burnt before the Lord.

d. Offer him there as a burnt offering: This test was especially hard because it seemed to contradict the previous promise of God. Hadn’t God promised in Isaac your seed shall be called (Genesis 21:12)? If Isaac hadn’t had children to pass the promise on to yet, how could Abraham kill him? Wouldn’t he be killing the very promise God made to him?

i. Abraham had to learn the difference between trusting the promise and trusting the Promiser. We can put God’s promise before God Himself and feel it is our responsibility to bring the promise to pass, even if we have to disobey God to do it.

ii. Trust the Promiser no matter what, and the promise will be taken care of!

 

e. On one of the mountains of which I shall tell you: There was a specific place God commanded Abraham to go, a particular spot where this would happen. God is carefully directing each detail.

f. Your only son Isaac, whom you love: This is the first mention of love in the Bible, and it is the love between father and son, and connected with the idea of the sacrificial offering of the son.

In the scriptures we have lots of first love. When Abraham talks of love for Isaac. Then when Abraham talks of worshipping God. 

I have learned so much about Abraham and his deep love for God tonight. I am so excited to be on this journey to understand the Atonement better and how we can apply it to our lives. 

 

 

Genesis 22:1-14.

Sunday

  I love sundays and everything they represent to me. Just recently I was issued a new calling as Sunday School teacher for 12-13 years old. I have an interesting class I have 5 boys and 3 girls. The children are wonderful and I love being with them.
  Today I was issued a challenge the bishop asked me to be careful about self disclosure. He also informed me about his plans for me in the near future. I am scared but I so trust him.
  I am going to study each night what my sunday school theme is for the month and become closer to Heavenly Father. I am scared. I want to share what I learned during the week from my studying. So we will see. Right???

hand

In my life recently I have worked hard to understand in all things that God has a great hand in my life. I do understand this. In December, Kevin told me he was moving back to Indpls he could not do Lexington anymore. I knew he was miserable there, and he would travel back and forth to come and see me. But I prayed and prayed and phone call after phone call started happening for interviews back in Indianapolis, so I thought that was the answer to my prayers. I thought that I would get a job and I got all the way through the interviews and still no job. I went to 5 interviews with Midtown and results no job. So then I started to doubt that I heard what I wanted about moving back since I believe that marriage can not take place at a distance. Then I started to have my record sealed and the attorney told me 4-6 weeks, so I asked him by the first of the year that i could not explain the mistakes of my past. He said yes, here is end of February and I am still waiting. I really thought this was the answer to a long hard road of always explaining but I am sure there is a lesson in here to learn. I am sure of it, but through it all I still know God is there. Then I since I had started in KY that being accepted to IUPUI would be not difficult, here it is end of March and I still waiting. So I once again I am wondering what Heavenly Father is doing with my life. But again through it all I know his hand is there.  I know that God knows me and knows me by name. He loves me and does not want to see me hurt. I know that in life there is joy, if we allow joy to be there. There are many things I am joyful about. I have had my life very different. I will always chose today and not the other way. I love my husband and I love my life and my sons and their wonderful people they have in their lives.
Today is Aaron's girlfriends birthday. She has blessed Aaron's life and our lives.I am so grateful for her and her children. Whom I consider my grandchildren. I love them and pray for them and proud of their accomplishments.

I love my sister

Dear Tina,

I want you to know that I so enjoy our talks together. I have thought about your friend and the staff so much today. My heart hurts for Alfonzo, I am sure that you have seen little signs of his falling off the wagon before your cruise.  When you think of the term “falling off the wagon” is so weird/funny when you think of drinking and using.  When you stop drinking alcohol or using you are said to be ON the wagon. Then if you fall OFF the wagon it is taken to mean that you have started to drink alcohol again having one stopped. The WAGON in the expression relates to the water wagon, which was a horse-drawn water car once used to spray dirt roads to keep the down the dust. ( so if you were on the wagon you must be drinking water). Just thought I would share the why the meaning took place but I see it more spiritual. I think as the wagon as the gospel.  So at first you get to the wagon by taking the stairs and working for each step until you are firmly in the wagon. The same as falling off, it takes some bumps, at first there is small bumps that jiggle you and finally it’s the big bumps that totally make you fall off and you hit the dirt on the road. The dirt to me is all the “dirty world or Satan”.

                Tina thank you for all your inspiration and help with the job hunting,   I appreciate your help and your suggestions.  With all the free time I have in Indiana waiting I have a lot of time to think and I want to share some of my thoughts with you.  I think you are this amazing mom and when you talk about your children I see your heart smile.  I hear it in your voice. I am so proud of the mother you are, and enjoy them.

           2^nd Tina, I know you share with me that issues with Jacobs has cause some of the old feelings to surface I am proud of you for seeking help before it becomes something that is too hard to face. Tina, I love you and am here if you need me.  I often find when I struggle I love Alma 36:3 I beseech of thee that thou wilt hear my words and learn of me; for I do know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day. I know you know this.

                Tina, I want to share with you my firm testimony. I love the Savior and I know he knows me and you by name. I know that our Savior chose to die. I often think of our Father in Heaven and how hard it had to be to watch our elder brother die for us. At any moment our Savior could have said he had enough but he never did.  On the same hand I know that when things are tough I know that if I turn it over to my Father than it might not change a situation but he will change my heart. I know I am here to be tested so that when I return to heaven I will be met with “Well done”.  Tina, each day as I reading the scriptures or the ensign I am being taught I am grateful for the scriptures and that they were wrote for me today. I am grateful for the knowledge of the atonement, I know it works on the big things but I also have firm knowledge that it works on the small things also.  I know the Atonement empowers me and strengthens me.

  I know that Jesus Christ is our brother and he loves us and wants what is best for us. I also know that Lucifer at one time was our brother and he knows us also. With every weakness that Satan believes he can beat me with. I know with my weaknesses I have choices: one I can let Satan win and believe him or I can like we were promised in Ether 12:27.  With the Savior I know my weaknesses will continue to strengthen me.

I know that like every relationship we have to continue to work on our relationship with the Savior and our Father.  I am grateful for everything they have given me and allowed me to have twice in my life. I understand I have a lot of blessings for the second time that I do not deserve. Like my sons and their families, my parents, and the gospel.  I love you Tina. I am proud to be your sister. My life is better because of you. Thank you.