Dear Tina,
I want you to know that I so enjoy our talks together. I
have thought about your friend and the staff so much today. My heart hurts for
Alfonzo, I am sure that you have seen little signs of his falling off the wagon
before your cruise. When you think of the
term “falling off the wagon” is so weird/funny when you think of drinking and
using. When you stop drinking alcohol or
using you are said to be ON the wagon. Then if you fall OFF the wagon it is
taken to mean that you have started to drink alcohol again having one stopped.
The WAGON in the expression relates to the water wagon, which was a horse-drawn
water car once used to spray dirt roads to keep the down the dust. ( so if you
were on the wagon you must be drinking water). Just thought I would share the
why the meaning took place but I see it more spiritual. I think as the wagon as
the gospel. So at first you get to the
wagon by taking the stairs and working for each step until you are firmly in
the wagon. The same as falling off, it takes some bumps, at first there is
small bumps that jiggle you and finally it’s the big bumps that totally make
you fall off and you hit the dirt on the road. The dirt to me is all the “dirty
world or Satan”.
Tina
thank you for all your inspiration and help with the job hunting, I appreciate your help and your
suggestions. With all the free time I
have in Indiana waiting I have a lot of time to think and I want to share some
of my thoughts with you. I think you are
this amazing mom and when you talk about your children I see your heart
smile. I hear it in your voice. I am so
proud of the mother you are, and enjoy them.
2nd
Tina, I know you share with me that issues with Jacobs has cause some of the
old feelings to surface I am proud of you for seeking help before it becomes
something that is too hard to face. Tina, I love you and am here if you need
me. I often find when I struggle I love
Alma 36:3 I beseech of thee that thou wilt hear my words and learn of me; for I
do know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their
trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at
the last day. I know you know this.
Tina, I
want to share with you my firm testimony. I love the Savior and I know he knows
me and you by name. I know that our Savior chose to die. I often think of our
Father in Heaven and how hard it had to be to watch our elder brother die for
us. At any moment our Savior could have said he had enough but he never
did. On the same hand I know that when things
are tough I know that if I turn it over to my Father than it might not change a
situation but he will change my heart. I know I am here to be tested so that
when I return to heaven I will be met with “Well done”. Tina, each day as I reading the scriptures or
the ensign I am being taught I am grateful for the scriptures and that they
were wrote for me today. I am grateful for the knowledge of the atonement, I
know it works on the big things but I also have firm knowledge that it works on
the small things also. I know the
Atonement empowers me and strengthens me.
I know that Jesus Christ is our brother and he loves us and wants what
is best for us. I also know that Lucifer at one time was our brother and he
knows us also. With every weakness that Satan believes he can beat me with. I
know with my weaknesses I have choices: one I can let Satan win and believe him
or I can like we were promised in Ether 12:27.
With the Savior I know my weaknesses will continue to strengthen me.
I know that like every relationship
we have to continue to work on our relationship with the Savior and our
Father. I am grateful for everything
they have given me and allowed me to have twice in my life. I understand I have
a lot of blessings for the second time that I do not deserve. Like my sons and
their families, my parents, and the gospel.
I love you Tina. I am proud to be your sister. My life is better because
of you. Thank you.
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