Desire

  This morning as I was reading I am in 2 Nephi. This scripture like many others I have read many times

 2 Nephi 4: 18-21 I am emcompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins, nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted. 

My God hath been my support, he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness, and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep. 

He Hath fill me with his love, even unto the comsuming of my flesh. 

When I was reading this I thought more of the temptations of the world, Since I am working on my weight issues. Its true that we have been encouraged to be eat properly and not to over eat. So the temptations (quick easy food, ex: fast food with lots of calories) do easily tempt me. When I do not stop or overeat I feel better or joyful, and when I don't my heart hurts ( heart disease is the number one killer in USA, one way to prevent it by not being overweight). But through it all and the reason why I am doing this because I know that I trust my Heavenly Father with my whole being. And only he guided me through my own wilderness (journey) and he preserved (saved) my life for a purpose. I know that he loves me and I know that I love Heavenly Father. 

 In the LDS recovery book it states and I have firm testimony of the power of living the 12 steps and applying them to my life. 

" Even though people's addictions are different, some truths, like this one never vary-nothing begins without an individual's will to make it begin." Then later in the book it states the only requirement to begin is the desire to stop. If your desire is small and inconsistent today: don't worry. It will grow! 

But arent these statement true with everything good and bad for us. When we desire for a change that is when it will begin.   My desires are to lose weight!! Yesterday was a good day as far as the food. Today I start exercising between classes. 

 

First step

  In the morning I have began to read the recovery manual and the scriptures that go along with it. For the first step it we often fail to admit that we have lost the ability to resist. So I am applying this to food, I often use food like I did dope. When I am happy to celebrate, when I am sad to feel the saddeness, when I am depressed to feel the loneliness, when I am bored to fill the boredom, so just like the crack I feel the holes often with food. I know with the drug it was different because I was trying to hide from facing all these feelings and along with these feelings. With the crack it was a hole in my soul and  I was trying to hide from God. I know and have strong testimony of the Savior and his love for me. The fact I know that the atonement is for me and I have been forgiven of the sins of along time ago is what brings me true joy. The peaceful feeling of knowing when I sleep that I can do it with peace is important.
 I am working on submitting my will on this matter of the food. I want to lose but how bad?
In my scripture readings this morning I went back to Mosiah 3:19

  The traits we should process is listed: submissive, meek, humble, patient (this one I need to work on) full of love, willing to submit all things which the Lord has seen fit to inflict upon you.
   The list is amazing to me, in the bible where it talks about how we should become like a child well these are the traits that a child has. The last sentence willing to submit all to the Lord even our troubles or the things that bother our temporal bodies. So to submit all things! That is what I am working on.