Accomplishments

 This morning I am trying to get to moving. Here is some of my thoughts. I having some different problems going on in my body. I wonder if I did not quit using what would my body look like? I really do know this answer, I have prayed about it. But in order to share this I have to tell you another story about when I first became clean. Right after I knew I wanted to be clean I moved in with my parents and my sons. By this time everything I owned was gone, and I had no where to go. I always knew that if I quit using I could go home. Well anyway back to the story, Eric (known as the devil according to my sons) is the man who got me hooked on the drug. No matter where I went or how hard I tried he found me when I was first getting clean. I worked at Toys R Us that first christmas. One day I am there I looked up and Eric had got a job there. ?Well I was a morning cashier and he was night stocker. So I never saw him much and I even changed my schedule to come in later. So once a gain Satan is playing with me the whole time of me wanting to do right. Any way his birthday is coming and he ask me if I wanted to go out to dinner at the Mall. So we did and then he said he got a room over at the hotel, I knew I had to be on the 10 pm bus or I would not have a home to go home to. So I agree and I brought him a birthday present. So we to the hotel and he pulled out a eight ball. To this day I remember my heart beating and my mouth watering. I wanted to. Remember by this time I had been clean 2 months. I wanted to bad.
THEN I remembered super nose which is my mom. My mom can smell anything and we jokely call her super nose. Well she scared me and I also knew that she held my life in her hands for a couple of reasons, she had my sons, I had to have a home for probation, and I was starting to feel better. So the fear of my mom was worst then the desire to use that day. I told Eric no and I ran out the door and I knew I still had time to catch the proper bus and be home on time to meet the guidelines so that I could still live at home.
The next morning I called Eric to see if he had a nice birthday. His brother Jeffrey said Joyce he is dead. I said"give him the phone quit playing". Jeffrey said that he came home and was laying in the floor and he told Jeffrey that his heart did not feel right and he took a deep breathe and died. The coroner's report his heart explored from the crack. The crack I would have smoked that night. My fear of my mom's nose saved my life. The hope that I could do this saved my life. This is a true story and it really happened. But to answer the question if I still used I would have died right along with Eric that night. Except we would have died in the hotel room and it would have taken a couple of days to find us. So noses are wonderful!
  So my next thought is what if I had never used what would my body be like now?  When I ask this question it makes me ask myself would I be on the path I am today. I do not know if I would have gone back to school. Probably not. Would I take my life for granted? Would I take my family for granted? I know now that in a blink of eye Satan can get a hold of you and hold you so tight that none of the things that matter no longer matter. I do know that I am clean because Heavenly Father never allowed me to lose the thought of my family completely or that he lives and loves me completely. So I have many accomplishments in my life but my biggest one is my family and everything it took to get them back.