I am part time group counselor and being off work has caused me to start thinking alot about different things. In one of groups we looked at a video and its name was Cross Addiction. I think the one thing I have learned by working at Treatment center that most of clients want to continue to getting high but not into trouble when they first arrive. The second thing I have learned is this amazing hope and love for the clients. Each one has taught me something very different, sometimes about myself or about being a social worker.
So anyway on the film they were talking about relapsing and how its done very innocently and by quitting what you know will keep you strong. For example: quit meetings, stop exercising, pushing family away, etc. You get the point right? One lady started she got hit by a car and the doctor gave her pain pills. Then she started using the pain pills wrong and that lead her into the thinking process of its ok to have one drink. She said within a few months she was thinking a liter a day, she would put her child on the bus then make all of her calls and pushed her husband away and eventually divorced him. I thought the part that she started because she was in pain. Then her thought process lead her to think what is one drink? Then she was back into the drinking and etc.So relapse is not oops I did this without thinking but a process. I can not think of anything would cause me to go back to using. I know I am very careful about where and what I do. Even though its been 11 years.
Another guy talked about the different activities that takes his mind back to his using. He said one night he was getting a mirror out to shave with and changing his razor and all of sudden his mind went back to when he was cutting coke to get high. We all have those things that remind us of getting high. One of mine, you know the children's cotton candy that comes in the alumunim packages that you find out the counter well when you first open that the smell reminds me of crack. But regular cotton candy does not make me feel that way. The feeling of walking outside on a really cold cold day and you take a real deep breathe and you body goes numb to me that is what crack used to do. The difference today is I have tools to fight with, I have examine the deeper issues and the fixable one I have and/or know what I need to do to stay clean. I don't go around buying the cotton candy or I do not on purpose take a deep breath outside. It does not have to be drugs What do you do that reminds you of a bad time?
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