10-10-10

 I surrender my date of 10-10-10. I am not sure what is wrong with me except in order for me to keep that goal I need to date. Which means what??

Internet dating-Have you looked at some of the men of these sites
Where to meet men?  church? there are no available men
school? ( only if I was 21 that might be the chance) Work? They are either married or gay
Especially when you are 45 and not willing to give up your dreams for husband

Day of Truth!!

 This week has been a little harder with the fast food but I made it without fast food. But that little devil on the shoulder has been tempting me all week. We all have those if mine only could be like the cartoon and you could flick him off. Just the thought makes me giggle!!!

Along with this goal for class of no fast food well I decided to really get serious and loss some weight. I Have been working out at the YMCA with weights and cardo. Well today I have a great work out. I walked at the speed of 3.0 and inclination of 2.0 for the distance of 1.33 miles in 30 minutes. That sounds like a lot but two weeks ago it took me 45 minutes with no inclination for a mile. So I have made progress and no I am not trying to kill myself. I am trying my best to learn to look forward to working out. So this week I have added watching my points or calories. Did I write that I am down to one 12 oz can of diet MD which in itself is a accomplishment since I was drinking a gallon of regular MD a day. Each day in my prayers I ask Heavenly Father to help me not like the taste of any soda, so slowly with my desire it is working.
Weight: 221  Waist 45 which the weight is up a pound but I am feeling so much better. But my waist is down 3 inches from last week

Really??? Honesty

Its been 5 days since I started my addiction class project and I have found it hard. I have thought about fast food as I drive by the restaurants and I have thought how easy it would be. So I want to tell you that is how addiction feels, when I was getting clean from crack that is all I thought about how nice it would be to forget. Like the food how nice it would be get a quick high if that is what you want to call it. My body is even yelling for the grease and junk of the food. It feels like its saying I am used to the junk what is going on? This week my stomach has felt better then it has in a long time.

Fast Food Restaurant	Type	Serving Size (g)	Calories	Total Fat (g)	Saturated Fat (g)	Trans Fat (g)	Carbs (g)	Sodium (mg)
McDonald's	Regular	100	250	9	3.5	0.5	31	520
Burger King	Regular	121	290	12	4.5	0	30	560
Wendy's	Jr. Hamburger	Unknown	230	8	3	0	26	500

These are my favorite three quick places to go. These are the calories count for a simple hamburger or better known as a junior.

So now here goes the hard honest part. I want to lose weight so this addiction project just made it easy to start on my goal. I started working out at YMCA. So there I really got scared. I weight myself and measure my waist. so this is the hard part if I am going to apply the twelve steps to this process I have to make myself accountable for my actions which include the honest truth. So I will keep track of my weight and waist measurements. Which I will put on here every saturday. It took me 25.30 minutes to walk a mile with 2 inclination. Sometimes which is step 1 honesty is the hardest part of all of this.    Weight: 220 waist 48 inches

Unmanageable or Honesty

   After thinking about what does it really mean to admit your life is unmanageable. That could and does apply to so many aspects of life. So often I find that i have submit everything I do and want to my Heavenly Father. I am often reminded that his plan for my life is alot different then what I tend to believe is best for my life. So I don't know if the question is about admitting or if is should how honest are we willing to be with ourselves. Sometimes its that honesty that I am most afraid of. If I am honest with myself and I mean truly honest with myself then I know what I have to do. Some of the answers come from the desires we had before. I am so grateful for the knowledge that Heavenly Father loves me personally and knows of these desires so deeply and all he is waiting for is me to acknowledge his presents.