12-13 year old Sunday School

   I am feeling a deep sadness today.  A new teacher took over my  awesome Sunday School class. I have 3 girls and 6 boys in my class. This class is amazing. This 12-13 year old class taught me more than I ever taught them. We have amazing parents who teach and love their children. Some of the things I have been taught: gratitude from one, we were talking about Christ how he might have been alone.  This young man reminded us he could have been alone if not for his dad.This young lady, taught me grace and beauty. She is beautiful outside and inside. This young man has taught me determination. He has simply refused to give up. this young man has taught me "normal" is an amazing thing. Two of the boys, have taught me how fun it is to be 12-13. Another young lady has taught me that sunshine is always behind the dark clouds. It took her a few weeks to let the sunshine from her soul. I would say she is one of my favorites but I know I would say that about each. I have learned how important it is to trust the kids on leadership. They have really enjoyed having a class president and the responsibilities that is with that. This class members can say prayers that make mine look like I am new member. The dedication they feel in serving each other is example to me. I will miss this class. I love each of them and pray for each of them. I am sad today  

Gratitude

  
 Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” — William Arthur Ward

   Gratitude is amazing thing. Think about it, how a simple thank you can change everything. When a small child tells you thank you, my heart smiles. That small thank you catches you by surprise and you think about for all day. I handed my cute grandson who is 18 months a phone and he says "thank you" and its the simpliest thing I have done for him. I love having him around and having him with us makes both Kevin and I smile.
   For along time I try really hard not to be ungrateful. Ungratefulness is not a pretty thing. If someone is trying to do things my way and they are not. At least they are trying. Right?

Gratitude has been linked to increased levels of happiness and life satisfaction. Giving thanks is one of the most powerful tools that leads to happiness.

. “Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” — Marcel Proust

 “We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.” — Cynthia Ozick
Isn't it funny how we take for granted that the people in our lives and the things in our lives will always be there.

Love Me

I know

There are many things I don't know but then again there are things I know for sure.

I know I do not like how other people's decisions can affect our lives.
I know I believe in the power of forgiveness.
I know when you forgive its more for you than the other person.

I know I do not like corn on the cob.
I know I am grateful that i have food to eat everyday.

I know I do not like mice.
I know I am grateful for God's creations, all of them. (I don't understand the reason for mice)

I know that I have a Father in Heaven that knows me by name
I know that I have a Father in Heaven that answers my prayers
I know I in the power of prayer
I know I believe in love
I know I have seen the impossible in my life become possible
I know that I have God on my side when there has been no one else.
I know that I love my family
I know that being a Grandma is the best thing in the world
I know that my family is forever
I know that being a mother is amazing
I know that I am smart and I work hard to be a good student

A new chapter

 Today in my opinion is  a new chapter in my book of my life. I start school for my Masters this week (again) but here in Indianapolis. My life chapters have been so full in the last two years of good, better and best things. With my marriage being the best thing about the last two years. I am grateful for Kevin and what he has added to my life. I am grateful for his support.
  I have decided to do the year program. So one year from now I will be graduating with my Masters. I am scared. I have decided that I will pray and listen better this year. I will scriptures before I ever open my books for school each day. Then I can not lose...we are told if we are doing everything possible to in our lives he will take care of the rest.
Love to all

seeing

  Have you ever thought about how you look at other people? I have and I have made a choice to try and see people like Heavenly Father would see them. Its amazing when you start looking to see a person's soul. I am amazed at how I see people, the person the young man that I have always avoided his eyes because he stays on the corner. I decided to stop and chat with him. His name is Chris, and he is 22. He ran from home a few years ago, and when I asked him about it. He said that even on the coldest nights it was better than at home. My heart hurt for him, and I hurt that he felt the streets were better than at home with his mom. Now I stop and check on him every now and then.

Then another time there is a lady in my church, I have had to really pray about to see her like Heavenly Father would. But I can talk with her and be grateful that i know her. I am grateful for that.

Learning

I have learned more in my calling than my kids do. Today is Sunday and I know that God lives and he knows me by name. I am grateful for my blessings in my life. I am grateful for my husband, who loves me no matter what. I am blessed to have my sons, and I know we chose each other in the pre-existence. I love the scriptures and know that they can apply and do apply to my life. I know when I am praying and doing what the prophet has asked me to do my life is better. I am grateful for the gospel.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen

Ever notice??

Ever notice when you lacking in something its easier to pointed it out in others? Right now I think my husband thinks I regret marrying him. Which is not the case, I love that man and he makes me happy. I love that the fact that we are so different in how we handle life. I need him and he needs me to balance each other.

I have found that its easier to point how big people are when I feel like a two ton elephant. I have gained weight since coming back from KY. Where I was working so hard on losing weight. I have really missed KY and what it stood for. All though I realize we moved back for a reason. I miss "us" time we had there. I feel as if everything is fat on me. I feel like my fingers look like the pretzel we sell at the store and it is so frustatting. What am I doing about it?

I have found lately I am really good at looking at people's faults. I think its because I see so many of my faults lately.

I have found that I am easy to point how lazy people are because I am doing what I really want to do. I am working in restaurant that causes me to do things from my past because of the people there.

I have found lately that most of the time I just want to sleep. For me that is great sign of depression. why am i depressed? why do I find fault? Why am I lonely? Why am I sad? Why am I feeling so fat?


DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!

March

  In February I was given the calling of Sunday School teacher for 12-13 year old. I want to share about my class. I have Joey Pitcher and his dad is in the stake presidency. Joey carries a brief case and he is very official. Joey's best friend is Jeremy Read. Jeremy is counselor in the bishopric. Jeremy is the babysitter of the ward, and he is the oldest of 5 siblings. Him and Joey are good friends. Then I have the Clark brothers. Nick Clark is wonderful, and he wants to feel the spirit. Aaron is fighting to be in "normal" world. He is getting where he will participate in class a small amount each week in class. Aaron is Nick's brother. Aaron is determined and knows what he wants and when he wants to participate. Bryen is Nick's and Aaron's brothers. Bryen was our first class president and he did a great job and really liked being given an assignment. Bryen has some health problems. These three boys are amazing and I love this class. So now for my girls. Madi Zingler, is beautiful and she is my quiet one, she wants to have the spirit in class. She can give a prayer that is out of this world.  Clara is great, She knows the scriptures and has been a huge help in my class. I am not that good at knowledge of the scriptures but I am learning. Then I have Anya, she is blonde and beautiful. Her mother is from Russia and she has lived in Russia. This past Sunday she taught us how to say Jesus Christ and it was amazing. She also said the prayer in russian and it was beautiful. I know I pray for this class and I have learned so much from them and look forward to learning more from them.

Restaurants and more

  I understand that restaurants are and can be a interesting place to work. I always feel as if I lose the spirit when I enter Applebees. I always listen to Hilary Weeks as I am driving to work and in my mind I am singing church songs. But I understand why its so hard, I feel my spirit fighting not to fall into negative thinking or negative acting. It is hard. I have decided to read my scriptures and to pray because I believe Satan knows my weaknesses. So I am praying and praying and praying........

Moses 6:63

 And behold, all things have their ^alikeness, and all things are created and made to ^bbear record of me, both things which are temporal, and things which are spiritual; things which are in the heavens above, and things which are on the earth, and things which are in the earth, and things which are under the earth, both above and beneath: all things bear record of me.


make a list of things “in the heavens,” “on the earth,” and “in the earth” that bear record of Jesus Christ. Help them use the Topical Guide to find scriptures in which Jesus Christ is compared to some of these things

What I am learning

Abraham is commanded to sacrifice Isaac. Isaac and Abraham both yield to the will of God.  I thought it was really interesting that it said the Lord tempted Abraham, what does Abraham say sure I am here.
 tempted means tried, tested, prove. So in reality God is saying  to Abraham prove to me that you love me and are you willing to do anything???? He did not ask any questions as to why god wanted him to do this. He just did it with faith.
I think its a amazing that Abraham just went and followed the directions that he thought he was suppose to do. Three days later on the donkey, makes me wonder how many miles from home was he. From Beer-sheba to Moriah is about 50-60 miles in 3 days. That is over 18 miles a day.

Now it came to pass after these things that God tested Abraham, and said to him, “Abraham!” And he said, “Here I am.” Then He said, “Take now your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.”

a. God tested Abraham: This was not so much a test to produce faith, as it was a test to reveal faith. God built Abraham slowly, piece by piece, year by year, into a man of faith.

b. Take now your son, your only son Isaac: Significantly, God calls Isaac your only son Isaac, when in fact Abraham had another son, Ishmael. But since Ishmael was put away from Abraham’s family, then as far as God was concerned, Abraham had only one son.

c. Offer him there as a burnt offering: God tells Abraham to offer him as a burnt offering. This was not an offering that was burned alive, but one first sacrificed and then completely burnt before the Lord.

d. Offer him there as a burnt offering: This test was especially hard because it seemed to contradict the previous promise of God. Hadn’t God promised in Isaac your seed shall be called (Genesis 21:12)? If Isaac hadn’t had children to pass the promise on to yet, how could Abraham kill him? Wouldn’t he be killing the very promise God made to him?

i. Abraham had to learn the difference between trusting the promise and trusting the Promiser. We can put God’s promise before God Himself and feel it is our responsibility to bring the promise to pass, even if we have to disobey God to do it.

ii. Trust the Promiser no matter what, and the promise will be taken care of!

 

e. On one of the mountains of which I shall tell you: There was a specific place God commanded Abraham to go, a particular spot where this would happen. God is carefully directing each detail.

f. Your only son Isaac, whom you love: This is the first mention of love in the Bible, and it is the love between father and son, and connected with the idea of the sacrificial offering of the son.

In the scriptures we have lots of first love. When Abraham talks of love for Isaac. Then when Abraham talks of worshipping God. 

I have learned so much about Abraham and his deep love for God tonight. I am so excited to be on this journey to understand the Atonement better and how we can apply it to our lives. 

 

 

Genesis 22:1-14.

Sunday

  I love sundays and everything they represent to me. Just recently I was issued a new calling as Sunday School teacher for 12-13 years old. I have an interesting class I have 5 boys and 3 girls. The children are wonderful and I love being with them.
  Today I was issued a challenge the bishop asked me to be careful about self disclosure. He also informed me about his plans for me in the near future. I am scared but I so trust him.
  I am going to study each night what my sunday school theme is for the month and become closer to Heavenly Father. I am scared. I want to share what I learned during the week from my studying. So we will see. Right???

hand

In my life recently I have worked hard to understand in all things that God has a great hand in my life. I do understand this. In December, Kevin told me he was moving back to Indpls he could not do Lexington anymore. I knew he was miserable there, and he would travel back and forth to come and see me. But I prayed and prayed and phone call after phone call started happening for interviews back in Indianapolis, so I thought that was the answer to my prayers. I thought that I would get a job and I got all the way through the interviews and still no job. I went to 5 interviews with Midtown and results no job. So then I started to doubt that I heard what I wanted about moving back since I believe that marriage can not take place at a distance. Then I started to have my record sealed and the attorney told me 4-6 weeks, so I asked him by the first of the year that i could not explain the mistakes of my past. He said yes, here is end of February and I am still waiting. I really thought this was the answer to a long hard road of always explaining but I am sure there is a lesson in here to learn. I am sure of it, but through it all I still know God is there. Then I since I had started in KY that being accepted to IUPUI would be not difficult, here it is end of March and I still waiting. So I once again I am wondering what Heavenly Father is doing with my life. But again through it all I know his hand is there.  I know that God knows me and knows me by name. He loves me and does not want to see me hurt. I know that in life there is joy, if we allow joy to be there. There are many things I am joyful about. I have had my life very different. I will always chose today and not the other way. I love my husband and I love my life and my sons and their wonderful people they have in their lives.
Today is Aaron's girlfriends birthday. She has blessed Aaron's life and our lives.I am so grateful for her and her children. Whom I consider my grandchildren. I love them and pray for them and proud of their accomplishments.

I love my sister

Dear Tina,

I want you to know that I so enjoy our talks together. I have thought about your friend and the staff so much today. My heart hurts for Alfonzo, I am sure that you have seen little signs of his falling off the wagon before your cruise.  When you think of the term “falling off the wagon” is so weird/funny when you think of drinking and using.  When you stop drinking alcohol or using you are said to be ON the wagon. Then if you fall OFF the wagon it is taken to mean that you have started to drink alcohol again having one stopped. The WAGON in the expression relates to the water wagon, which was a horse-drawn water car once used to spray dirt roads to keep the down the dust. ( so if you were on the wagon you must be drinking water). Just thought I would share the why the meaning took place but I see it more spiritual. I think as the wagon as the gospel.  So at first you get to the wagon by taking the stairs and working for each step until you are firmly in the wagon. The same as falling off, it takes some bumps, at first there is small bumps that jiggle you and finally it’s the big bumps that totally make you fall off and you hit the dirt on the road. The dirt to me is all the “dirty world or Satan”.

                Tina thank you for all your inspiration and help with the job hunting,   I appreciate your help and your suggestions.  With all the free time I have in Indiana waiting I have a lot of time to think and I want to share some of my thoughts with you.  I think you are this amazing mom and when you talk about your children I see your heart smile.  I hear it in your voice. I am so proud of the mother you are, and enjoy them.

           2^nd Tina, I know you share with me that issues with Jacobs has cause some of the old feelings to surface I am proud of you for seeking help before it becomes something that is too hard to face. Tina, I love you and am here if you need me.  I often find when I struggle I love Alma 36:3 I beseech of thee that thou wilt hear my words and learn of me; for I do know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day. I know you know this.

                Tina, I want to share with you my firm testimony. I love the Savior and I know he knows me and you by name. I know that our Savior chose to die. I often think of our Father in Heaven and how hard it had to be to watch our elder brother die for us. At any moment our Savior could have said he had enough but he never did.  On the same hand I know that when things are tough I know that if I turn it over to my Father than it might not change a situation but he will change my heart. I know I am here to be tested so that when I return to heaven I will be met with “Well done”.  Tina, each day as I reading the scriptures or the ensign I am being taught I am grateful for the scriptures and that they were wrote for me today. I am grateful for the knowledge of the atonement, I know it works on the big things but I also have firm knowledge that it works on the small things also.  I know the Atonement empowers me and strengthens me.

  I know that Jesus Christ is our brother and he loves us and wants what is best for us. I also know that Lucifer at one time was our brother and he knows us also. With every weakness that Satan believes he can beat me with. I know with my weaknesses I have choices: one I can let Satan win and believe him or I can like we were promised in Ether 12:27.  With the Savior I know my weaknesses will continue to strengthen me.

I know that like every relationship we have to continue to work on our relationship with the Savior and our Father.  I am grateful for everything they have given me and allowed me to have twice in my life. I understand I have a lot of blessings for the second time that I do not deserve. Like my sons and their families, my parents, and the gospel.  I love you Tina. I am proud to be your sister. My life is better because of you. Thank you.

Past and the past that will never go away

I understand that everyone makes mistakes, and I even understand that we all have to take responsibilities for our mistakes. The big ones and the small ones. But so often I think about mine and how much I have learned going through everything  I have. I often wonder if I would be in this spot in my life. There are many times when you get tired of fighting for things. I have been blessed beyond anything i could imagine. On the same line I often wonder about what where I would be if I did not have all these obstacle in my life. I wonder if I often learn lessons right away. I know that I don't

I am tired

maybe I meant to not be a social worker and I am so down. Its not fair and my life will go on. I am quitting looking for social work positions. I am officially done. I will never get the jobs I want because I am always having to live my past down. I am shot down and right now it hurts like hell. How am I suppose to make it?

Lieutenant Bill and gratitude

I am in Lexington with no car and Kevin is back in Indianapolis starting school. My car broke down and I am at home packing. I strongly believe that being outside makes my spirit sing. I went for a walk. Our super cute apartment is right in the middle of every store you ever dreamed of. I am walking and there is a man in wheelchair holding a sign that says" Please help, I am a disabled vet", I usually do not donate to people themselves.
In all my social work classes  we talked about how the
Arm Forces does not take care of their Vets. This man was amazing, his name Bill. He was a Lieutenant in the army he served 28 years in the Army. He lives in a motel and he has been back for 8 years and he lost both of his legs. We talked for over 30 minutes and I walked away feeling blessed that I met this man who gave up his legs and his health. So I asked him if I could ask him some questions so I did and I learn so much. He has health insurance for life, but he just got approved for disability and next month he will get his first retirement check after being home for eight years. But he told me he had to fight for that. Then I asked him about the mental health and he said that finding somewhere that understands or its easy to get into is hard. He looked at me in the eyes and said "I still have dreams, I lost lots of my men. I watched them be blown up and then the next day we were doing the same things. I saw things that no man deserves to see.  I STILL HAVE BAD DREAMS!"  I had tears in my eyes. Then he said the most amazing thing to me I would do all over again!! I walked away a better person, and so much gratitude for him and what he did for me and you. I  hugged him and he shook my hand and thanked me for making his day.
I am grateful for Lieutenant Bill and his willingness to talk with me.

life threating

 Once again I am in the middle of starting school again and I am getting excited. I need to do this statistic class and in one week we are moving back to the Indy area. I am even moving to Eagle Creek ward and I am excited to go back to everyone. I am  hoping to heard from Midtown really soon. I have had three interviews and I have loved it so far. But its hard not to get your hopes up. I should be hearing from the attorney soon.
I miss Kevin to have someone to hang out with. The house is crazy quiet. I want to someone to talk too......lol