The First day and reasons why?

 So this is the day we are suppose to start the assignment for my Understanding Addictions. So I am hoping today goes well.
 The first step is:  Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable.
The first step of AA:  We admitted we were powerless over alcohol (weight)-that our lives had become unmanageable.

This step is about honesty and how honest can we come with ourselves. I know this step is one of the hardest ones. Yes, I want to lose weight but has my life became unmanageable. To some degree I can not walk up stairs, I can not chase after a young child, and when I take a shower I have to lift a stomach flab to make sure that is clean. I guess to some degree it is unmanageable.I know there is alot more unmanageable about me being this overweight so as I think of them I will write about them.  Am I willing to work hard at losing weight. I know I often have to work hard at everything I want in life. Am I willing to look at the way I eat and exercise to lose weight and inches. For this I am not sure. This morning as I was reading I believe this scripture helped realize a few things

2 Nephi 1:13 “Oh that ye would awake; awake from a deep sleep, yea, even from the sleep of hell, and shake off the awful chains by which ye are bound, which are the chains which bind the children of men, that they are carried away captive down to the eternal gulf of misery and woe.”


I am considering the chain my weight, I am bound by it and it is not the healthy and I am capture by it in how I want to live my life. As I know you have as individual have to move the steps at your own pace and I know I am really going to pray about how my weight has helped my life become unmanageable.
There are a very things I know which are the whys I want to lose weight:
1. My health even though I have been clean for 11 years I know the extra weight does not help my lungs and liver both are damaged from the previous drug use.
2. I want to buy some regular clothes.
3. When I am done with school and I am working how can ask people to be healthy in every way if I am not.  Which in my opinion means body, mind, and soul.
4.  I do not want extra large casket when I die
5. I almost don't fit into the movie seats and airplane seats.
6. I have the deep desire to exercise and work at this.
7. Someday I will have grandchildren and I do not want to be the FAT grandma!!!